Hello Friends,
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‘Tis the Season…
The holiday season is upon us! Next week is Thanksgiving and then Christmas is just a few weeks after that. I love this time of year for many reasons, the colorfulness of the trees, time with friends and family, and food! Just being real, I love me some dressing! Another thing I love about this time of year is everyone seems to be a little more generous. We are focusing on what we are thankful for and also what gifts we want to buy our loved ones. It just seems, generally speaking, that people tend to take their eyes off of themselves more this time of year and put their focus on others.
Alex and I are right in the midst of it ourselves. We are already filling our November and December calendar with plans with family and friends. Our conversations have shifted to others and what will be taking place in the holiday season. And all of this is great and such fun but I want to take a moment on this blog to encourage you to flip your focus just a little bit more!
Focus on the Good but Not Over the Great
We have our sights on other people right now and that is a good thing! We all need to be a little more selfless. However, are we focusing on the good and over looking the great?
Let’s dig into this a little bit. Holidays can be some of the best times but also some of the most stressful times. The pressure to be all the places and buy all the things can suck the joy straight up and out of us if we are not careful. We can turn our very good intentions into something that can overwhelm us and cripple our most important relationships. Couples can find this time especially stressful trying to balance two or more different families with multiple traditions. One thing I have noticed in marriages is we turn our focus outward but at the expense of our spouses. We focus on the kids or other family members or on events and purchases and forget to appreciate and enjoy our spouses.
I hear it all the time. People stressed out about the holidays. No joy just obligation. When asked how they and their spouses are celebrating it is met with the “it is just another day to us” statement. They are so focused on the stuff and others that they are missing out on sharing this time of year with the one that they chose to spend their life with. I see this as such a waste of a wonderful season! In the hustle, our spouses are the ones that can fall through the cracks.
We Have Been Given a Gift
Let me be clear in saying, I am not condemning the couple that has chosen not to buy gifts for each other. It is not the exchanging of an item I am talking about here. It is the lack of focus and gratitude that we give our spouses.
James 1:17 says~ Every good gift and every perfect (free, large, full) gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of all [that gives] light, in [the shining of] Whom there can be no variation [rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [as in an eclipse].
Our spouses are a gift. We need to remember this and treat them as such. This is the best time of year to show them what they mean to you. We are already focused on others during this time, we are on the looking out for things to do or buy to make people feel special. Why not start at home? Why not start with your spouse?
My challenge to you is to find a way to convey what your spouse means to you! Make that a priority over everything else.
Gratitude Don’t Cost a Thing!
I said earlier that I am not necessarily talking about gifts here. There are so many ways to show your spouse you care about them and they are your number 1!
- Start with Gratitude
- Sit down and really think about all the things about your spouse you are grateful for. I suggest making a physical list and adding to it whenever something new pops in your head. In the busyness of our lives, we forget or take for granted just how lucky we are to have our spouses. By making this list you are choosing to focus on these things
- Find Ways to Communicate this Thankfulness to Your Spouse
- Get creative, remember it does not have to be a “thing”.
- Maybe it is letting them relax when they get home.
- Maybe it is a date night.
- Maybe it’s not making an excuse when they want to “spend some alone time” with you.
- Get creative, remember it does not have to be a “thing”.
- Change the Language
- Start by simply saying thank you for things they do with and for you
- Stop complaining about things that are undone.
- Turn “bickering” into “thanksgiving”
- Create a Schedule
- Schedules can seem kinda boring BUT they are a great way to make sure we keep the important things in focus. Schedule time when your number one focus will be showing gratitude toward your spouse.
- Keep Your Focus
- Family and kids are wonderful and we do not need to forget about them. Just make sure your spouse feels the love during the holiday season and through the rest of the year.
By simply being grateful, you will not only see a change in your marriage but you will also see a change in your overall life as well. Gratitude might not instantly change our situations but it has a way of shifting US and changing US. Gratitude is not only a great idea it is also God’s will for our lives.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says~ In every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
It is so easy to overlook your spouse in this busy time. It is so easy to give overwhelmed and not be grateful for the gift we have been given. By making a few, intentional changes, you have the ability to build your spouse up. You can show them how grateful you are for them. You can actually be joyful this holiday season and all while walking out God’s will for your life!
You do not get to choose every single person that becomes a part of your life but you did choose your spouse! Make it a point this holiday season to show them that you are so happy that you chose them.
You can do this!
We are praying for you!