Hello friends,
Most of you have probably heard of the great commission. It was the last thing Jesus told His disciples before He ascended back up into heaven. If you haven’t ever read the great commission you can find it at the end of Matthew. Let’s look at those verses together.
Jesus came up and said to them, “All authority (all power of absolute rule) in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations [help the people to learn of Me, believe in Me, and obey My words], baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always [remaining with you perpetually—regardless of circumstance, and on every occasion], even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20
In these verses we find Jesus telling His disciples’ several things. What, He wants them to do (go everywhere and make disciples). How, He wants them to do it (teaching them everything you have been taught by Me and baptizing them). Then He encourages them that He will be with them during it all. They aren’t going to have to do any of this alone. There is a lot we can take away from these verses but with this blog, I want to apply these verses to our marriage.
What is a commission exactly?
Let’s start by making sure we have a good understanding of what a commission is. According to Google, the word commission has several definitions. The one that comes to mind when I first thing of commission is~
- an instruction, command, or duty given to a person or group of people
This is what we see Jesus doing with His disciples in Matthew. He is giving them a command, a set of instructions for them to walk out. However, there are several other definitions of this word that might surprise you. If you look at the definitions where commission is used as a verb you will find these.
- give an order for or authorize the production of (something such as a building, piece of equipment, or work of art):
- bring (something newly produced, such as a factory or machine) into working condition:
- appoint (someone) to the rank of officer in the armed services:
Commission also means to create, improve, or promote a person or thing. It is the ability to make something or someone better, and this is where we are going to add the marriage twist to this.
Instagram, Vacation Getaways, and Outside Church Services
Alex and I just got back from our vacation. We went to South Carolina for a week and it was just what we needed. If you have read our book (you can check it out here)you know we love to travel and when we travel God always meets us and talks to us in very unique ways. This trip was not exception. We spent a few days in Charleston and then a few days at Tablerock State Park and God showed up in both places with two very different lessons for us. We are going to talk about the one we learned in Charleston here.
While we were there we went to Bright City Church. I love watching what this church is doing via Instagram and since we were in town we wanted to attended their service. Because of Covid they had their service outside so we sat in our lawn chairs and watched as the Pastor and his wife prepared for service.
Right before the service began they both went over to the worship leader and prayed for him. Then the service started. When worship was over and it was time for the message I noticed something. As the last song was finishing up the wife went over to her husband and whispered something in his ear. Although I do not know exactly what she said I could tell by her posture she was encouraging him for what he was about to do. He stood there nodding his head as she spoke but I saw him stand a little straighter as she spoke. Whatever her words were literally changed his body language in a positive way.
We have been given a unique opportunity.
The Lord spoke to me at that moment about the importance of our words to our spouses. This was not this pastor’s first sermon. This couple has been running on mission for quite some time now, but they still take time to speak life into each other. I have also seen this in other couples as well through social media. Craig Groeschel spends a lot of time on Instagram showing his wife praying over him before he speaks. It is something that encourages him and calls him up.
Our words are important especially when we use them towards our spouses. This is something that can be used in every marriage not just ones who are in ministry.
Calling them UP instead of calling them OUT
In marriage, we have been given the unique opportunity to look at our spouses in total completeness. Knowing the good and the bad, seeing them fully for who they are, and then we get to help create, improve, and promote them. We get to speak into them in a life-giving way. We get to speak into them in a way that will literally change them. The power has been given to us to call them up instead of calling them out.
So how do we call someone up instead of out?
- Promote~ “advance or raise someone to a higher position”
- Encourage them! Brag on them! Tell them how you see them! Lift them up!
- Is your spouse perfect? Well of course not, but guess what, they already are painfully aware of this and they do not need a reminder, especially from their spouse. Choose to talk about the good you see in them. Promote all the qualities of your spouse you love. When you water something it grows this is true when it comes to our marriages. Bragging about the good qualities and they will use them more.
- Encourage them! Brag on them! Tell them how you see them! Lift them up!
- Create~ “bring something into existence”
- What is something you see and admire in your spouse? Speak life into that.
- There are things your spouse is good at that they do know about. There are things you admire in your spouse that they will not know you admire unless you tell them. Help them see the good and create more of it. You can help your spouse discover and create something in their lives by choosing your words wisely.
- What is something you see and admire in your spouse? Speak life into that.
- Improve~ “make or become better”
- In most marriages, the strengths of one may be the weakness of the other. Instead of putting your spouse down for not having your strengths, help them by using your strengths to build theirs.
- Example~ I’m (Tara) am not great at starting conversations. Once one starts I am good to go but I feel very awkward at the beginning. Alex on the other hand can start a conversation with anyone at any time. Instead of constantly telling me how easy it is to start a conversation, he simply starts a conversation with someone while I am there and I join in. Not only does it allow me to make new friends and have great conversations with people, but I also pay attention to how he does it and now I try to start ones on my own. It’s a win-win.
- In most marriages, the strengths of one may be the weakness of the other. Instead of putting your spouse down for not having your strengths, help them by using your strengths to build theirs.
With Power Comes Responsibility
We have been given a great commission in our marriages. We have the unique opportunity to speak words into our spouses that create, improve, and promote them. HOWEVER, we always have the power to hurt them with our words. Our words carry more weight than others and this is something we need to always remember. We can brush out the words of a stranger or acquaintance easier than we can the one we married.
Also, remember your words are powerful! Let’s use them to commission and not as a dismission.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words. Proverbs 18:21
You can do this!
We are praying for you!
For ways to help you communicate better with your spouse check out our blog, “Get on the Right Frequency!” by clicking here.