Hello Everyone,
Laughter is hard wired into us. No one has to be taught to laugh, it just naturally happens. An infant usually starts smiling or cooing in the first month, and laughter comes around month three. This shows us that joy and laughter are some of the earliest ways a baby displays emotions. But here is something to think about, they usually only show these emotions to the people closest to them. The ones who have consistently been there, taken care of them, and shown them affection.
As we get older, laughter has a way of initiating a bond between two people.
They Make Me Laugh!
Joy and Laughter attract. They appeal to something in us, and we are drawn to them in other people. Think about your best friend, was laughter involved in establishing and maintaining that relationship? Think about your favorite co-worker, does laughter help the hours pass at work? Now think about your spouse, what drew you to them in the beginning? Was it their appearance, behavior, or did they make you laugh?
There have been numerous studies done on the benefits of laughter. These studies have shown consistently that shared laughter and positive humor create and maintain marital satisfaction and stability.
So, if your relationship started with laughter, that’s a great cornerstone, but it should not stop after the marriage. That same laughter that brought you together has the power to keep you together in a healthy and stable way. You just have to find ways to keep laughter as the melody of your marriage.
Five Benefits of Laughter in a Marriage
Laughter is a gift given to us by God, for our benefit.
Science has proven that laughter is good, and it benefits us in a lot of different ways. The Bible links laughter back to God. We were created by God, and the Word has a lot to say about that.
Psalm 139:14 I praise You, for I am awesomely, wonderfully made! Wonderful are Your works— and my soul knows that very well.
James 1: 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.
Job 8:21 He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
We mentioned earlier that no one teaches us to laugh. It is something that is placed in us, that comes out. God gave us the ability to experience joy, and to laugh, because he knew how our bodies were designed and the benefits it would bring. Once we realize that laughter is a gift, we can be more intentional about using it in our marriages.
Laughter brings connection and intimacy.
Laughter brings connection and intimacy, whether that be physical or emotional intimacy. Both are needed in a healthy marriage relationship.
Genesis 26:8 ESV When he had been there a long time, Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out of a window and saw Isaac laughing with Rebekah his wife.
We can learn from the Hebrew here that Isaac was not telling jokes to Rebekah. There was something sexual happening. I love that Moses told us about this encounter with Isaac and Rebekah. Theirs is one of the few marriages in the Bible that we get told that they LOVED each other. So this connection laughter to physical intimacy.
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Emotional intimacy is just as important as physical intimacy. In fact, having good emotional intimacy will increase the physical.
For more information on the importance of emotion intimacy check out “Answering the Emotional Call“
Laughter brings healing.
Proverbs 15:13 A joyful heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Illness can be very difficult in a marriage. We know this firsthand. Whether you are caring for a loved one, or you are walking through the sickness yourself, it can be very taxing on a marriage. Laughter not only helps to lighten the mood as you go through these seasons, but it can also be a part of the healing process.
Laughter renews the mind and changes your perspective
There have been numerous studies on how changing our mind can change our lives. We literally have the ability to stop a thought process and go in another direction. I have watched videos of what happens in the brain when we change a thought process and it is really cool. As I watched the nerves that were firing go into a completely different direction all I could think of was Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.
And the importance of Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any virtue and if there is anything worthy of praise—dwell on these things.
Proverbs 15:15 All the days of the afflicted are bad, but a cheerful heart has a continual feast.
We have the ability to change our worlds by simply changing our minds, and laughter is one of the vehicles we can use to do that. By shifting our perspective, looking for something good, and finding the humor in situations we are taking our thoughts captive. And think about how you feel after a good laugh? It just makes things better.
Laughter is a way to reminisce, and worship God.
Psalm 126:2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with a song of joy. Then they said among the nations, “Adonai has done great things for them.”
Sometimes life can get you down. It is important that we look back on what the Lord has done for us in the past, and also how far we have come as a couple. As you reminisce use this time to find joy in God’s faithfulness. Laugh as you remember the early days of your marriage.
Everything Has a Season
Ecclesiastes 3:1;4 For everything there is a season and a time for every activity under heaven– a time to weep and a time to laugh,
Solomon tells us that everything has a season. Perhaps you find yourself in a season where laughter is scarce. We found ourselves in that season this time last year. It was a weeping season. Laughter was not heard much. If you find yourself in that season, it’s ok to let yourself feel that it’s healthy and beneficial that you don’t push those feelings aside.
However, be encouraged in the fact that you don’t have to stay there forever. Allow laughter back into your lives every opportunity you get, it will help to heal your heart, and it has the power to bring life back into your marriage.
Laughter should never be used as a weapon
Proverbs 9:12 If you are wise, you are wise to your own advantage, but if you scoff, you bear it alone.
Although laughter is good, there is a wrong way to use it. Laughter should never be at the expense of our spouse. It can bring pain just as easily as it can bring healing. It can separate just as easily as it connects.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep your love for one another constant, for “love covers a multitude of sins.”
If we filter everything through Peter’s words we can guarantee that we never use laughter or humor to the detriment of our spouse.
For more information and resources about the benefits of laughter in your marriage check out Mark Gungor and his series “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage“.