Hello Friends,
John J. Beckley once said, “Most people don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan.” This can be applied to every area of life. No one wakes up in the morning and plans to fail. We all have big dreams and goals that we would love to accomplish. The problems come when we fail to make a plan to execute those dreams and goals. Without a plan with intentional steps, most if not all, dreams and goals will go unaccomplished.
Your Marriage Needs a Plan Too
This same principle can be applied in our marriages. Everyone that goes into marriage wants it to work. However, divorce rates tell us that more than 50% of couples do not make it. Why is that? While every marriage is different and has its own story, I believe some of it comes back to neither person having a plan.
Yes, they both wanted the marriage to work out, but they did not do anything intentionally to guarantee its success. Hoping and wishing are great, but they hold little weight if you do not do something to invest in your relationship.
So How Do We Fix This?
Great question! If you can accomplish goals and dreams by developing a plan, you can have a happy and healthy marriage by doing the same thing. Co-creating a marriage plan with your spouse can be so beneficial to your marriage. For starts…
You will learn what is important to your spouse.
They may have hopes and dreams for your marriage that are different than your own. This leads me to the second benefit.
It puts you both on the same page.
As you share your hopes and dreams you can start moving toward them together. There shouldn’t be a one-is-right and one-is-wrong mindset here. Process through which dreams are the most important and work toward them together.
If you are like us, the idea of having a plan and executing it is exciting. So let’s look at a few steps you can take to establish this marriage plan.
4 Steps to Create a Marriage Plan
Dream Together
Sit down with your spouse and dream together. Take as long as you need on this step. Some dreams come to mind instantly but often others will come with process time. Take a few days both together and separately to pray and think through what your dreams are for your marriage.
Identify Obstacles and Strategies to Overcome Them
Why would we ask you to identify obstacles right after you have identified your dreams? So you can come up with strategies to overcome those obstacles. This is probably the most critical step in this process because we all have obstacles, and it is easy to get overwhelmed and give up when we come across one.
Nothing worth doing will come easy 100% of the time. You may have some big dreams with some big obstacles, but as you and your spouse work together as a team, you will be able to break through those obstacles one at a time until you have accomplished whatever it is you wanted to accomplish.
Plot Out Your Next Step
Once you have your dream, and the strategy for the obstacles, plot out your next steps together. These steps will be specific actions that will need to take place to accomplish the dream, and who is responsible for those actions.
Don’t assume you and your spouse are on the same page here. Be very specific in who is responsible for what, that way both of you can walk out the steps appropriately.
Set Deadlines
Now that you have the dream, and the steps to accomplish it, make it measurable. Set a deadline to have the dream accomplished, but make sure the deadline is feasible. For example, if your dream is to be debt free, but you can’t accomplish that dream in 6 months, don’t set a 6-month deadline.
Make your deadlines attainable. This will bring joy when the deadline is meant, instead of frustration when it isn’t. Set yourself up for success.
Now, if you set a deadline and miss it. That does not mean you failed. Set another deadline and try again. You only fail when you give up.
Then Repeat…
There you have it. Four ways you and your spouse can accomplish your dreams. Now a word of encouragement.
You may have a lot of dreams and plans for your marriage. If that is the case, don’t get overwhelmed. You can only accomplish something one thing at a time. So pick a few dreams, accomplish them, and then pick some more and repeat.
Meals are eaten in small bites. Trips are taken one mile at a time.
Accomplish your plan one dream at a time.
Check back in two weeks as we will break down how to set your goals for your marriage. We want you to be successful.
You can do this.
We are praying for you.