Hello Friends
As we learned in the first part of our series, you have it in your power to become a hero in your marriage. It takes intentionality and consistent behavior, but it can be achieved. We gave you two ways in which you could start becoming a hero in our last blog.
In the Hero Marriage Series: Part 1, we talked about honesty, and how being honest is the foundation upon which you begin and build your marriage. We also talked about empathy. We gave you six ways you could start practicing it and establishing a deeper connection with your spouse.
With this blog, we are going to finish out this series by giving you two more ways you can continue to become the hero your marriage needs.
Becoming the Hero of Your Marriage
Respect
To continue your transformation into the hero of your marriage you must start acting in a respectful way.
Respect means a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
We tend to believe that we only give respect when someone has done something to earn it. We should not have that mindset in our marriage. Our spouses deserve respect simply because they are OUR spouses.
We are great at this when we first meet our significant other. We are on our best behavior and, as a result, we are super respectful. However, as time goes on (if we are not careful) it is easy to start being disrespectful to them.
In fact, most people are more respectful of a stranger (whom they will encounter once in their lives), than they are with the person they have chosen to spend their lives with.
Let’s not fall into that trend. Let’s be intentional about creating a respectful atmosphere in our marriage and maintaining it.
Strategies for Being Respectful
- Listen to Your Spouse. Really listen… with the goal of understanding your spouse not formulating a response.
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13
- Affirm Your Spouse’s Opinions. Sometimes voicing an opinion takes courage. Affirm that courage instead of dismissing it or shooting it down.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
- Empathize with Different Perspectives. We will talk more about this in the next section.
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12
- Disagree Respectfully. You will not always agree with your spouse but you can disagree in a respectful way.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 4:31-5:2
- Apologize When You’re in the Wrong. Being able to ask and receive forgiveness is crucial for a healthy and happy marriage. It is not a sign of weakness to own your shortcomings. It is actually a sign of great strength!
“An apology is the superglue of life! It can repair just about anything!”
Lynn Johnston
- Show Gratitude. “Thank you”- Two of the most powerful words in our vocabulary. Use them often with your spouse. Appreciation goes a long way. What you praise will be repeated.
The heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time.
Douglas Wood
- Compliment Your Spouse’s Achievements. The enemy wants us to view our marriage as a competition instead a team activity. In marriage, you win as a team or lose as a team. Your spouse’s win is your win. Celebrate them together.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
Open-Mindedness
Step three of being respectful was to empathize with different perspectives. When we flesh that idea out we will actually be practicing the fourth way we can be a hero in our marriage.
By being open-minded, you will realize there are several paths to the same destination. We have mentioned several times here at A Beautiful Adventure Marriage, that you can’t be selfish with a “my way or the highway” mentality. If you have this particular mindset, your marriage adventure is not going to be very enjoyable. But if you will be open to your spouse’s point of view and ideas you could have the adventure of a lifetime.
Being open-minded is essential in marriage but we understand it can be difficult to walk out. To learn three ways to practice compromise and become more open-minded check out our blog Exploring Compromise.
Que Dramatic Hero Music Here
You may not have a superpower, but you have the power to change your marriage. Like any good hero, you will have to make changes and even sacrifice your own desires from time to time, but the end goal will be so worth it.
By practicing Honesty, Empathy, Respect, and Open-mindedness, you can be the hero of your marriage!
We are praying for you!
Before You Go
Are you looking for a quick, easy, and free way to invest in your marriage?
Check out our latest marriage reading plan on the Youversion App called The Marriage Toolkit. Again this plan is totally free and gives you four easy ways to improve your marriage and continue on your journey to becoming the hero your marriage needs.