Hello Friends,
What comes to mind when you think of a hero?
Is it a man or woman in a cape running around fighting crime with cool weapons? Is it someone who has extraordinary strength, intelligence, or abilities? Maybe it’s someone who has literally saved your life or is it someone else?
Everyone has their definition of what a hero is, but if you search online for what a “hero” is, you will find this definition: A person who is admired for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.
The truth is you may never wear a cape and have cool weapons. The ability to fly or have supernatural strength will probably never be something you put on your resumé under qualifications. Chances are, you probably won’t ever literally save someone’s life, but you can be a hero. With this two-part series, we are going to talk about the 4 characteristics of a hero and how you can implement them in your marriage.
Becoming The Hero Of Your Marriage
I want to be famous in my own home
Mark Batterson
Deep down, we all want to be a hero. We want to be admired and have people look up to us. Honestly, this is not a bad goal to have. However, as I said early, we may never be a “hero” in the way the world sees a hero. The world sees the spotlight and grandeur, applause, and accolades. A true hero is something very different.
Becoming a true hero starts at home. It starts with making daily choices that benefit your spouse and your family. Mark Batterson puts it best with his quote above. A true hero seeks to be famous in his home with the people he or she loves the most. It is not going to be the accomplishments we make that make us famous in our homes. It is going to be our actions.
So let’s look at two ways we can become the hero of our home and our marriages.
Honesty
For the one who wants to love life and to see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit, and he must turn away from evil and do what is good. He must seek peace and pursue it. – 1 Peter 3:10-11
The first way we can become a hero in our marriage is by being honest with our spouse. Honesty is the foundation upon which your entire marriage will be built. We are not going to spend a lot of time on this because I think you all know how to be honest… you simply tell the truth.
Being truthful with your spouse may not always be easy, we get that. However, when done in love it can not only establish peace and trust but can also grow and mature your marriage.
Empathy
The second way you can become a hero in your marriage is by practicing empathy.
Empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Now please realize we are not talking about sympathy. Sometimes, it is easy to get these two things confused. Simply put, sympathy means you are attempting to understand their situation and empathy means you have been there before.
Now here is the question – how can you be empathic with your spouse if you have never gone through what they are experiencing? Great question, we do not all go through the same experiences but there are ways to be empathic without the experiences.
Strategies for Practicing Empathy
- Really listen – do not listen to respond, listen to understand how they are feeling.
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. – Proverbs 18:36
- Drop the advice – if you have never experienced something, do not try to solve the problem. Simply, be there for your spouse.
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. – James 1:19
- Allow the emotion – Again, don’t try to fix them. Let them experience the emotion they are feeling and if you can, help them work through it.
Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; – Proverbs 2:2
- Ask powerful questions – Give your spouse the platform to explain the situation and how it is making them feel.
“The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.”
Confucius
- Be fully present – Remove all distractions and give them your full undivided time and attention.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. – Matthew 6:34
- Be authentic – It’s okay to not know the answers to everything. Sometimes, all your spouse needs is you.
“The strongest force in the universe is a human being living consistently with his identity.”
Tony Robbins
Strike Your Best Hero Pose
You can start today and become the hero of your marriage. Being honest with your spouse builds the foundation of peace and trust in your relationship. Showing empathy towards your spouse in their time of need could be the difference between making a lasting connection that deepens your relationship with your spouse or leaving them to feel disconnected where they seek this connection from outside sources.
The Bible gives us a beautiful definition of a true hero in Galatians 6.
Carry one another’s burdens and in this way, you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love]. For if anyone thinks he is something [special] when [in fact] he is nothing [special except in his own eyes], he deceives himself – Galatians 6:2-3
Choose to be the honest and empathic hero of your marriage!
You can do this!
We are praying for you!
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