Hello friends,
In our last blog, we talked about the importance of mentoring another couple and broke down four reasons why you and your spouse should consider becoming a mentor. We talked about how becoming a mentor would not only benefit the other couple but your marriage as well. To read more about the benefits of becoming a mentor check out our blog here.
Where to Begin?
We understand that making this decision can be hard. Even when you know it’s the right thing to do, mentorship can feel scary. It can feel overwhelming to be a part of shaping someone else’s marriage when you know all of your own shortcomings. On the other hand, you may be excited and ready to begin, but you and your spouse are unsure of what to do first.
Alex and I were in the same position. We knew what we wanted to do but we were unsure of what to do or how to start. So we dove in and made an interesting discovery. Mentoring wasn’t a complex process. We went through four steps when we started mentoring, and we want to share those steps with you here.
We are presenting these steps from the perspective that you and your spouse have agreed that you both want to become marriage mentors. The actual first step would be to sit down with your spouse and make sure this is something you both want to do. This is a team activity. Your spouse will have to be on board for the mentorship to be healthy and effective. So after this conversation has happened let’s look at what to do next.
Four Steps to Mentoring Another Couple
Pray and Ask the Lord for Guidance in Your Decision
Before starting anything worthwhile we need to pray and invite the Lord into the process. As a couple, you and your spouse should seek the Lord’s guidance. Be specific in your prayers. Ask Him to lead you to the couple or couples that could benefit the most from your mentorship. Pray that He would soften their hearts and they would take advantage of the mentorship. Pray for your own marriage, because anytime we do something for the Kingdom, the enemy likes to come and cause chaos. So pray not only for the other couple but for your relationship to be strengthened as well.
Anything covered in prayer and led by the Holy Spirit has a greater chance of success.
Once you have covered this decision in prayer, and the couple has agreed to the mentorship it’s time to get started. During this time don’t overthink it, just focus on three things.
Offer Encouragement Regularly
Use this mentorship to pour encouragement on your couple. Remind them regularly that marriage is a good thing and they made a good decision when they chose each other. Praise them for the victories they have, and give them hope and wisdom as they navigate the bad times. Show them you are there for them by being a safe place for their marriage.
Through this, they will realize they can trust you and will come to you in the good and bad times.
Model a Godly Marriage to Your Mentee
Don’t let this step scare you. You don’t have to have the perfect marriage to model a Godly marriage. Just love your spouse well and do the best you can. Go on double dates with your mentee couple without an agenda, or invite them over for a movie night. Mentees can learn so much simply by watching a married couple live their lives.
Alex and I have learned a lot from our mentors, and to be honest, the vast majority of what we learned was simply by watching them. We saw them respect each other, honor each other, and treat each other with kindness. We observed the marriage they modeled and we wanted to be like them.
Here’s the truth, you are modeling your marriage to someone whether you realize it or not. People watch what you do. Give them something good to watch. Show the world the marriage God intended everyone to have by loving your spouse well.
Pray For Your Couple Daily
We started this with prayer and it needs to be a continued theme throughout this whole mentorship. Lift your couple up daily. Pray for every aspect of their lives, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, and emotionally. Be specific and ask your couple if there is anything you need to pray about. There is something very special about knowing that your mentor is praying for you. Prayer will connect you and your mentee on such a deep level.
Change Someone’s World
At the end of the day, you will never regret the time you spend pouring into someone else’s life. When we link arms with another couple we have the ability to completely change their world. When that couple goes and helps another couple more worlds are changed and that is how we change the whole world- one couple at a time.
I love the question Chris and Jamie Bailey ask in their podcast, “How to Have a Marriage that Makes an Impact”
Nothing God wants done will be left undone, but do we want to be a part of it?
Our prayer is that your answer to that question is, yes! If so start today!
Who can you impact?
Who’s world can you change?
Don’t miss out on what the Lord is doing!
You can do this!
We are praying for you!