Hello Friends,
When it comes to marriage you hear the word, intimacy, a lot. Although our minds tend to only think about physical intimacy between a husband and a wife, there is another area in which we can become intimate with each other. Spiritual intimacy is something that is not talked about a lot, but it something that can take your marriage to a level you never dreamed possible.
Why is Spiritual Intimacy Important?
Spiritual intimacy is so important in a marriage; however, it’s also a topic that you rarely (if ever) hear people talk about. Let’s take a moment and look at what spiritual intimacy is and why it’s important to your marriage.
Spiritual intimacy is the act of revealing your deepest core values, passions, and beliefs with your spouse, and allowing them to do the same.
Most couples start this process in dating, but unfortunately, they don’t continue to do this in marriage. Although this may not seem like a problem, it can leave you feeling like there’s something missing in your marriage.
There are countless studies that show the importance of this kind of intimacy, but in very basic terms, spiritual intimacy is the glue that will bond you and your spouse together in the good times but especially in the bad times.
Spiritual intimacy will sustain your marriage in the moments where you may feel your world is coming apart. By allowing God into your marriage, and then being intentional about maintaining this level of intimacy your marriage will not only thrive in the good times, but it will weather whatever storm may come your way.
Our Journey with Spiritual Intimacy
It may shock you to hear that Alex and I have only really focused on our spiritual intimacy in the last year. We both love the Father and have been involved in ministry for 15 plus years. However, this was not something that we really focused on as a way to strengthen our marriage.
Alex and I knew we believed the same core beliefs and wanted to be in ministry from the moment we met. (I mean, we met in Israel) However, we each focused on our own spirituality separately. We would each spend time with the Father alone, and sometimes we would talk about it, but most of the time we didn’t. So, we were both growing but not together as a husband and wife in this particular area. But all that was about to change!
Stepping Back but Drawing Closer
In November of 2022, Alex and I felt the Lord calling us to take a Sabbatical (a time of rest). We had both been in ministry for the entirety of our marriage- plus some. We needed to take some time to just rest and recharge. So, we committed 6 months to rest and seek the Father. And let me tell you, the Lord showed up and showed us that He is faithful to His Word
We sought Him and we found Him. There’s a lot that happened in that 6-month period, but during this time Alex and I started working on our spiritual intimacy as a couple. I can honestly say that after 11 years of marriage and many more years of being followers of Jesus, we are more in love with the Lord, His Word, and each other now than we have ever been.
Ways to Develop Your Spiritual Intimacy in Your Marriage
There is so much I could say about the six months we were on Sabbatical. I will share other things here and there but to keep this blog to the point, I would like to share the books that got us started and the ways that we started developing spiritual intimacy in our marriage.
A few months before we went on Sabbatical, I started reading the book “A Time to Advance” by Chuck Pierce. It’s all about the Jewish calendar, the twelve tribes of Israel, and the early church. It kept referencing another book by Robert Heidler called, “The Messianic Churching Arising,” which is on the same topic. As we learned about the early church and the Jewish calendar, Alex and I committed to structuring our lives more closely to the Lord’s design. Here’s what we have started doing.
Weekly Sabbaths
Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Exodus 20:8
Alex and I have always preached the importance of a Sabbath rest. God, Himself modeled this and commands us to do it, but the enemy has done a great job of making us feel like we don’t have time to rest. During our Sabbatical we increased the amount of time we were taking for Sabbath.
We start on Friday night. We cook a special dinner and sit down at the table (without our phones). Then we welcome the Sabbath by having communion, and a time of prayer. As we eat, we take time to share moments that have happened throughout the week that we are thankful.
We then dedicate the next 24 hours to only do things that bring us life. This time has become so special to Alex and me. We look forward to it every week.
Saturday Morning Reading
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17
I told you above that Alex and I used to study separately, and we still do because personal time with the Father is important, but we have added time for us to study the Word together.
We get up early on Saturday mornings, fix breakfast, then spend some time in the Word of God. We use the Tree of Life Bible App. It gives you weekly readings that allow you to read the entire Bible through. The structure of their reading plan is so simple and makes the Bible way easier to understand (in my opinion).
What I love about this time, is that as we read, we share our own perspectives and what we feel like the Lord has revealed to us about the passage. Sometimes it’s the same, but the majority of the time we each see something different which allows us both to grow.
Daily Prayer Time
Do not be anxious about anything—but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6
Several years ago, Alex and I started praying together in the mornings. Prayer is powerful and has the ability to virtually divorce proof your marriage. Although we had already established a regular prayer time, through this we find that we are praying more together.
For example, just in the last few weeks we have started saying a quick prayer right before bed. It’s a very simple prayer, but we have already noticed we are sleeping better.
Honestly, this one took a little bit of time to get into a rhythm, and we still have a lot of room to grow but it’s nice to have that open line of communication between each other and the Father.
Intentional and Strategic Giving
Let each one give as he has decided in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion—for God loves a cheerful giver.
2 Corinthians 9:7
This is another area where Alex and I have stepped up our game. We have been faithful tithers for years, but the more we have learned about giving, the more we want to give.
We have been mindful to pray and then sit down and discuss how we want to sow our first fruits and offerings. There is an old saying that states, “You can’t out give God.” We have come to see that there is a lot of truth in that statement.
God has blessed us so much since we have been doing this. It has been both in finances and in other areas.
What I love so much about this, is that Alex and I actually have conversations now about how we want to bless others. It’s a fun and exciting addition to our days and weeks.
Find Your Own Rhythm
Spiritual intimacy takes time to build but it’s worth the time you invest in it. You may not be able to do all the things all at once. Alex and I started small and built up as we went. We are still adding and adjusting things to make it unique and life giving to our marriage. We encourage you to do the same.
You will have to be intentional about setting the time aside and putting forth the effort. There will be times that you may not can follow the plan completely. If you have to reschedule from time to time that’s fine just make sure to reschedule it. We make time for what’s important, and your spiritual intimacy is very important.
We are praying for you.
If you have any questions about the resources we linked, or more detail on how we walk this out, please send us a message! We would love to share this journey with you.