Hello Friends,
Alex and I are strong believers in the importance of having a mentor or multiple mentors in your relationship. The world wants us to believe that once we get married we have to navigate that relationship alone but that is not a healthy thing to do.
We have experienced the benefits of having people in our lives that have come alongside us and encouraged us to move forward. We can stand here today and say with 100% certainty that our marriage is better because we had mentors we could turn to in times of struggle but in good times as well.
The Importance of Mentorship
In several of our blogs and videos, we have talked about the importance of having a mentor in your life, but with this blog, we want to look at mentorship from a different angle. We want to take some time to encourage you to become someone’s marriage mentor.
If you are like most couples, the idea of being someone’s else mentor may have made you laugh. Most people believe they aren’t “good enough” to become a mentor for someone else. They see all their struggles and don’t feel like they have anything to offer that would benefit anyone else. Although that is a lie straight from the enemy, Alex and I were not immune from it. When we first started talking about starting A Beautiful Adventure Marriage we had the same questions bouncing in our heads.
Were we good enough?
Did we have anything to offer?
Could we really be an impact on someone else?
We had to take a step of faith and ask God to help us be obedient. It was a hard first step to make but looking back I am so glad we listened to the Lord and not the enemy. As we sit with couples now, I am amazed at what the Lord is doing in and through us. God took the little we had and is doing something beautiful with it.
If you consider becoming a mentor, you will probably experience the same doubts we did. We tend to only see our shortcomings but chances are you have past experiences and wisdom that could greatly benefit another couple. You might possibly be the reason someone stays married. It’s just a matter of taking that first scary step, and we want to help you take it.
We are going to take a few blogs and break down why you should become a mentor and how to get started. We believe that you will not only change someone’s marriage for the better but your marriage can benefit from this as well.
Let’s start by answering the question…why?
Why Should You Become Someone’s Marriage Mentor?
It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, but if there’s no one to help, tough! Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. By yourself, you’re unprotected. With a friend, you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Being a mentor has many benefits for both the mentee and the mentor. We are going to talk about four of those benefits.
We Were Created for Community
It was never God’s design for us to do life alone. We were created to function and thrive within a community. If 2020 taught us anything it was that isolation and limited human contact were not only dangerous to us physically but spiritually and emotionally as well. We need social interaction and encouragement to live our fullest life. By taking on a couple(s) to mentor you will not only build community in these relationships, but you will also experience happiness that only comes from helping others.
Full candor, being a mentor can be tiring, but at the end of the day, there really is a sense of happiness and fulfillment that can only come by establishing these relationships and helping others within your community.
You get to Impact and Influence Others
As a mentor, you get to be a part of influencing the next generation, and the next generation needs this influence. When a person announces that they are getting married people will come out of the woodwork to help them plan their wedding. Typically they end up getting “help” that they do not want.
Unfortunately, very seldom does someone come to the couple and offer to help them prepare for the marriage. This is the wisdom and advice that the couple really needs. They will need a couple to come alongside them and be their friends. They will need wisdom and encouragement during times of struggle, as well as praise and celebration during the wins in their life.
As a mentor, you get the unique opportunity to do life with another couple. You get the share your stories, both the wins and the struggles, in hopes that they can avoid some of the trials you went through. This type of relationship is a gift to both the mentor and the mentee.
Mentorship Gives You a Mission
Have you ever found yourself wondering what you are here for? Maybe you have prayed and asked God what your purpose in life might be. By becoming a mentor you are saying yes, to a life of higher purpose. As I stated earlier it is only in the atmosphere of community that we find fulfillment. When you come alongside the couple in hopes of encouraging and leading them you will find a sense of purpose like no other. Getting up in the morning becomes so much sweeter when you know that your life has a purpose and you are impacting others in a positive way.
Iron Sharpens Iron
While building these relationships you will find that purpose and influence is not the only rewards. You will be establishing friendships that will last a lifetime. These will genuinely become your people. They will become the people you reach out to during your own hardships. It will become a two-way street of encouragement and influence.
You will grow in your strengths and improve on your own weaknesses while being there for the other couple. You and your spouse will not only grow closer to this couple but you will also grow closer to each other and the Father. Everyone becomes better in a truly healthy mentor relationship.
Embrace the Truth and Take the First Step
The truth is you and your spouse have something to offer someone else. The truth is you can find a fulfilling life or purpose and impact all while growing and strengthening your own relationship. You just have to be brave enough to take the first step. In our next blog, we will be talking about four ways you can start the mentoring process but until then I want to leave you with this thought.
“When our truth outweighs our fear, we will commit to the courageous.”
Author Unknown
Being a mentor is courageous. It takes nerve and obedience to the Father. But let’s look at it this way, you could be one step away from setting your life on a powerful course of mission and fulfillment. You could be one act of obedience away from changing someone’s life for the better.
You can do this!
We are praying for you!
Join us in two weeks as we share four steps on how to become a mentor. In the meantime be sure to check out our book, “A Beautiful Adventure Marriage: A Guide to the Marriage God Created for You.” This book gives you several ways to invest in your marriage and have the adventure of a lifetime.