Hello Friends,
Last week was Thanksgiving! We pray last week was a time of joy for you all. A time spent celebrating with your spouse and family.
It’s hard to believe Christmas is 25 days away, isn’t it?! As we are sitting right in the middle of this holiday season it is easy to be very intentional about being thankful and loving our people well. It is the theme of this time of year. November is the month to focus on being filled with thanksgiving and Christmas is our time to focus on love! This is a fun season but why should we only focus on thanksgiving once a year?
Let’s Press Pause
Thanksgiving is officially over, right? Today is the first day of December and I am sure most of you have already switched into Christmas mode and have started the job of buying gifts for the ones you love and some you don’t. I understand that because I have started preparing for Christmas as well but can we press pause for just a moment? Although this season is a fun time it can also be a stressful time where we get laser-focused on the wrong things. It can be a time where we treat our spouses poorly.
So put your credit cards down for just a moment and take a deep breath. I want to ask you a question.
Is Thanksgiving really over?
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
I understand that the actual holiday is, but is it over in your household? Was it ever there to begin with? Is it a core theme in your house?
Thanksgiving can be more than a holiday celebrated once a year. It can be a mentality that we adopted and use in our everyday lives. It can be a core theme in our marriages. A core theme that can change your marriage in a radical way. Let me explain…
Thanksgiving Recognition
Alex and I are renovating our home. There have been things we have wanted to do for a while and we have finally decided to get them done. Alex is very knowledgeable and handy when it comes to home repairs and upgrades so he opted to do most of the work himself. He knew going in that although I am willing to help him, he is going to have to tell me what to do and always assume I know nothing… which when it comes to renovation is very accurate.
We started this big job the week of Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving Day, we only put working on hold long enough to eat breakfast with our best friends and mentors, the McCalls, and have dinner with our family. As we were eating breakfast Alex told Andy and Penny how proud he was of me and how hard I had been working. He showed appreciation and thankfulness for me to other people. As I sat there two things went through my mind.
That made me feel really good!
My love language is not words of affirmation but as I sat there Alex’s compliment made me feel so good. Let’s be brutally honest, the boy is doing the majority of the work himself. I am a glorified assistant who is doing what she is told BUT he took the time in front of others to lift me up and brag on me. He made me feel important and gave me credit for what I was doing and that made me feel like the best-glorified assistant in the world. (cue dramatic music, super assistant pose, and cape blowing in the wind)
This compliment that took just a few moments of Alex’s time had such an amazing impact on me.
He has been doing this a lot lately!
The conversation continued on to other things that day but the Lord used that moment to bring other times Alex had done this to my mind. He showed me here lately Alex has been very intentional about pointing out good things about me to others. He has been intentional about appreciating me in both private and public settings.
He showed me Alex has been demonstrating a “thanksgiving mentality”. He sees the good and has been expressing his thanks to me.
Thanksgiving Mentality
This shift in Alex has caused a shift in our marriage. Not only did his words make me feel loved and appreciated but it spurred me on to show him this same thanksgiving. I have started thanking him for the things he does for me both privately and in public. It seems like a game almost with both of us looking for things to be thankful for and vocalize.
So how do you make thanksgiving a theme of your home! It’s easy as can be! You can do it in 2 easy steps!
- Watch your spouse and be mindful of the goods things they do (both big and small)
- Speak up and thank them for what they do both privately and in public.
Your spouse may be like me and words of affirmation may not be their predominant love language BUT everyone likes a thank you. Everyone likes to be told they are doing a good job!
If It’s too Good to be True
I am sure you have heard the old phrase “If it’s too good to be true it probably is.”. Being thankful and speaking it out will change your marriage in unimaginable ways. But here is the great part! It is true! It can change! All you have to do is be intentional about spotting the good then saying thank you! That easy!
It’s good! It’s true! You can do this!
We are praying for you!
For more ways to be thankful for your spouse check out our blog, ” ‘Tis the Season to be Grateful” by clicking here.