Hello Friends,
Have you ever invested in something? Maybe it was your 401 k, and you put money in it on a regular basis. Maybe you invested in your home by doing improvements that brought up the value. Perhaps you invested in another person, either financial or by giving of yourself or your resources. Maybe you invested in your self and did something simply because you wanted to do it.
There are a lot of ways that we can invest ourselves and our resources into other things. The great news is if we invest in the right things we usually get a good return. If you put into retirement, years down the road you will be taken care of. Investing in your home creates a better living space or a better chance of selling it. Invest in other people can bring a great deal of joy when we can watch them succeed, and it can bring life and health to us when we simply invest in ourselves.
This same principle is true in marriage. If we take the time to invest in our marriage we can and will reap the benefits of those investments. But if that is true the opposite is true as well. If we do not invest in our marriage then we can and will reap the consequences of not investing.
Marital Inventments and Personal Gain
Invest-devote (one’s time, effort, or energy) to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result
When we invest in something we expect a good result, otherwise, why would we take the time to invest in it? The great news is when we invest in our marriages, we don’t just get a good result in our relationship, it also flows over to us personally. By having a happy marriage we can also experience a happier life in general. Let’s take through 3 ways that we can invest in our marriage and also reap the benefits personally.
DD WW AA
I am currently reading the book, “Vertical Marriage” by Dave and Ann Wilson. You can get to know them and find ways to purchase their book by clicking here. In chapter 4 of this book, their likening investing in your marriage like investing in your body. You have to exercise it. You have to work it and move in the right direction to get the results you want. Dave and Ann give three ways we can be intentional about investing in our marriages. What is great about these three things is they do not just help us on a relational level but they can help us on a spiritual level as well. Let’s look at the three ways they suggest for improving your most valuable relationship.
Divert Daily
To grow in our relationships with our spouses we have to spend time with them on a daily basis. I am not talking about just existing in the same space with them. You can live in the same house and still completely miss each other if you are not careful. What I am talking about is here taking a few moments each day to connect with them on a deeper level.
How do we do this?
- Set aside time to sit down and have a conversation with your spouse.
- Ask them about their day
- Ask them about something that interests them (books, tv shows, etc.)
- Let them talk through a struggle they had that day and focus on listening not solving
- Share your day with them
The point of this is connection. It can happen at any time for any length of time. Just give them your undivided attention so a connection can take place.
Spiritual advantage- We need to do the same thing with Jesus. To grow in our relationship with Him, we need to set aside time daily for connection. Again it can be any time for any length of time, but this one time is so crucial if we are going to grow closer to Jesus and mature into the person He wants us to be.
Withdraw Weekly
Another way we can invest in our relationship with our spouse is to withdraw weekly with them. Withdrawing weekly is basically setting aside time every week to date your spouse. It is time for just the two of you to rest and enjoy each other.
How do we do this?
- Be intentional about this time and mark it as nonnegotiable
- Place it on the calendar so both people know when and where
- Secure a babysitter (this needs to be time with just the two of you)
- Plan ahead and communicate about it
- Make it enjoyable for both people
These times of withdrawing do not have to be expensive. There are a lot of things you can do with your spouse that does not cost a thing. Go for a walk, or go out to a fancy restaurant, just be sure to enjoy your time with the one you love. This may seem like a lot of work, to begin with, but you will find the benefits far outweigh the work.
Spiritual advantage- Weekly withdrawing is completely Biblical. It is called Sabbath. The Lord is very clear that we should take a day of rest, but this seems like one of the hardest things to do. However, if this is something the Lord has commanded us to do that means it is something beneficial for us. The Lord only tells us to do things for our benefit.
This practice of Sabbath is so important to God that it even made His all-time top ten list! God put rest and relaxation up there as some of the most important things we can do if we want to live healthy, stable lives. Pulling away from our hectic pace for one day a week is critically important for our spiritual health and for our physical health as well.
Vertical Marriage by Dave and Ann Wilson
Abandon Annually
The final tip for investing in your marriage is to abandon annually. Getaway for a few days with your spouse. Sometimes a change of place is all that is needed to completely rejuvenate a relationship.
Now on this one, we are not talking about a family vacation. We are talking about a getaway with just you and your spouse. This may be hard for you to wrap your head around if you have children, but you and your spouse need time away for just the two of you. Family vacations are great but so are these times together.
How do we do this?
- Do some research
- Plan ahead and save for this. That way it does not bring financial stress.
- Find a marriage retreat or something marriage related or…
- Find a place to simply do nothing- relax, play, laugh, have lots of sex
Spiritual Advantage- In our personal experience, a change of place has always drawn us closer to God. When we step out of our normal 9-5 lives it gives us the margin to hear God and experience Him much clearer than normal. He never disappoints with this either. If you give Him the space and time, He will meet you there.
Be Encouraged
Investing in your marriage is like exercising. You may not see the results instantly, but it does not mean it is not working. With every investment, you will be strengthening your marriage just like with every push up your muscles get strong. Do not quit. Remember the definition of investment- we invest to get a worthwhile result. If you keep giving good investments you will eventually get the worthwhile results you want both personally and relationally.
For more ways to invest in your marriage check out our new book, “A Beautiful Adventure Marriage: A Guide for the Marriage God Created for You” by clicking here.
Would you like to invest in A Beautiful Adventure Marriage? Learn how you can help us shine a positive light on marriage by clicking here to go to our giving page.