Hello Friends!
Valentine’s Day is THIS Friday! It’s hard to believe that we are already a month and a half in 2020! It’s our prayer that this year is going well for everyone and that your marriages are growing and becoming stronger every day! Marriage is God’s idea. It’s a good idea and it can be a beautiful adventure! This week we are talking about something that can make your adventure a little smoother!
BREAKER BREAKER 1 9
Does anyone remember the Smoky and the Bandit movies! I grew up watching them! If you have never watched them here is the gist. It is about this crazy father and son team who make a bet with two truckers that they can’t haul a load from Texas to Georgia in 24 hours. The truckers accept the bet but run into problems when a Texas police officer gets on their trail and refuses to give up. The truckers communicate with each other through a CB radio. However, for them to be able to communicate so the police officer doesn’t hear them, they have to be on the same frequency. Throughout the movie, they are changing frequencies so they can communicate but the officer can’t hear them!
So why am I talking about Smoky and the Bandit on a marriage blog?
Small-Group Homework!
Frequency- the particular waveband at which a radio station or other system broadcasts or transmits signals
Alex and I are leading a small group at our home and this week’s homework was to get on the same frequency with your spouse. When I heard the word “frequency” I thought of that movie. I never thought it would help me in my marriage, but here we are, and maybe it can help you as well. We can be speaking loud and clear to our spouse, but if they are on a different frequency they may not be hearing you clearly or fully.
Have you ever tried to do something nice for your spouse and it not be received with very much appreciation? Have you ever complimented them, or bought them something special, only for them not to respond in the way you thought they would? If the answer is yes, you are not alone. Marriage is wonderful but it can also be confusing.
When two people come together in the bonds of marriage it is a great thing; however, you learn quickly that you do not always see things or receive things the same way. This does not make one person wrong and the other person right. It just means you might be on two different frequencies. In a lot of ways being on two different frequencies is a good thing. You get to see two different perspectives and if you are willing to learn and be open-minded, you can grow together because of it. Opposites tend to attract and I think this is part of the Lord’s design. He wants our marriage to be a place of growth and maturity and we would not be able to do that if we were totally alike.
Being on different frequencies in a marriage can also be highly frustrating. Especially if you are trying to communicate your love for the other but they do not seem to be receiving it. In fact, in that situation, both people are frustrated because no one is getting fulfilled the way they need too. This is why being on the same frequency in this area is so important.
So how do you get on the same frequency with your spouse?
How do you go about finding their frequency?
Love Languages!
One way to find both yours and their frequency is to learn the love languages. “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman is a fabulous book that can help you so much in marriage. We all have a primary love language. This is the way that we speak love and receive love from others. Knowing your spouse’s love language will help you fully convey how much you care about them. The five love languages are physical touch, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, and quality time. The problem is, we speak our language fluently. If we aren’t speaking our spouse’s language, they may not be receiving our love fully. You may be saying or doing something with the intent of showing your spouse how much you care about them, but if you are on the wrong frequencies, they will not be able to fully receive it. Speaking the wrong love language is doing twice the work and getting very few results.
By taking the time to learn your love language and your spouses, you will ensure that they receive the love you are trying to give. So this blog and the next blog is going to be talking about the five languages and how to speak them. Let’s start learning your love language and the language of your spouse.
Go to https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ On this website you can find tons of resources to grow your marriage including the 5 Love Language book and take the quiz for free. In our next blog, we will talk through all five of the love languages and give you some examples of how to speak each language well!
You may have fallen in love with your spouse at first sight but you will spend the rest of your life trying to figure the other person out. Let’s take the guess work out! Let’s work smarter not harder!
You can do this!
We are praying for you!