Hello Friends
With our last blog, we talked about 10 Sex Life Killers that could be damaging your intimacy with your spouse. As the years go by in marriage, it can be easy to grow complacent and passive. The passion that once burned wild may be down to a small ember if even that. On top of the complacency is the lies we are told. The enemy wants us to believe that only having sex with one person is boring and that it is natural for the passion to cease and a lot of married couples have helped to spread his message. However, that is not the way it has to be.
It should be the married couples having the wild sex. The sex that only gets better as the years go by! Since we shared some ways you could be hurting your sex life, we also wanted to share some ways you could be spicing it up. We believe that a wonderful sex life in marriage is possible, and with a few changes, it could begin today! Let’s dive in!
10 Ways to Have Better Sex
Spending Quality Time Together
Sex should not be the only time you attempt to spend with your spouse. Find out what interests them and share that with them. Find ways to connect with your spouse in a nonsexual way every day. This will build your relationship all around not only in the bedroom.
Talk About It
I will be honest upfront and say this one is harder than it appears. You would think that if you can have sex with your spouse, you would be able to talk about sex with your spouse. Strangely enough, that is not always the case. Talking about sex with your spouse may be very awkward, but it is a way you can make your sex life better. This gives you the opportunity to find out what they like and don’t like, and vice versa. With that knowledge, you can spend your time intentionally doing things that turn them on!
Please And Be Pleased
That one leads right into our next tip. Once you know what your spouse likes, do it. Sex is not about being selfish. Make your spouse and their pleasure your focus. There is something very gratifying when we stop trying to be fulfilled and focus on fulfilling someone else. As Christians, we know this to be true but I don’t believe we always apply this to our sex lives. When we aim to please our spouses, our spouses will most likely respond in the same way. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Don’t Rely On Your Mood
There will be plenty of times in marriage where sex can not happen because of legitimate issues. So with that in mind, let’s not turn down the opportunity when it can. Just because you are “not in the mood” is not a very good excuse. In marriage, you do not always get the romance and the candles. There isn’t a lot of mood lighting… I get it… but we can’t let that determine whether sex happens or not. Perhaps you have had a hard day, maybe sex would be the perfect way to turn your mood around. Instead of using it as an excuse not to, use sex to change it!
Don’t Overlook The Quickie
While we are on the subject of mood lighting let’s talk about the quickie. Again in marriage, you do not always have candlelight and romance. BUT maybe you have ten minutes while your baby is napping. Perhaps you both have a few minutes before you have to get ready for work. Let’s take advantage of these little pockets of time to be intimate with our spouses. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good cuddle or foreplay like anyone else, but how many times are we messing simply because we are forgetting the power of the quickie.
Get Creative
Now if you have the time needed and don’t have to have a quickie, great. Our encouragement here is to get creative. Don’t just do the same old things in the same old places. Have sex in a different room, or a different place altogether. Roleplay and dress up. Remember we said you should talk about sex with your spouse? Ask them what one of their fantasies is, and make it a reality. There is no reason for your sex life to be boring. Make it fun and spontaneous by being a little creative.
Do Not Watch Porn
We touched on this a little in our blog “Faithfulness and Your Marriage“. Porn is extremely dangerous to a marriage. It will in no way unite you and your spouse. Porn will only cause division and other issues. As I was researching for this blog, I read several articles and it was shocking that all the secular articles promoted the watching of porn as a way to spice up your sex life. Again it is just another way the enemy is using lies to harm your intimacy with your spouse.
For more information about the dangers of porn check out Mark Gungor.
Relive Your Dating/Engagement Period
While porn will not unite you with your spouse this tip will. Remember when you were dating or engaged and the passion was tangible. Remember how you couldn’t wait to see them and you most definitely couldn’t keep your hands off them. Why not relive that time? Is there a certain place that is special to you because of a date? Maybe somewhere you use to go and make out? Go back and relive those moments! Remember what attracted you to your spouse in the first place.
Dirty Talk
I am going to say it again. Married people should be the ones having the wild and amazing sex, not single people. If that is the case why not use everything in your arsenal to make sure the sex is great? Start sending your spouse naughty texts during the day. Maybe send a picture here and there. If you spend your whole day thinking about what is going to happen later, not only will the sex be great, it will make your day better as well because you will be looking forward to something wonderful.
Create A Sex Bucket List
Our last tip is to create a sex bucket list. Sit down together and make a list of things you want to do and places you want to do it. Have fun and get creative. The list can have simple things that can be checked off easily and more elaborate things that may take time and planning. The main thing here is to have fun. Make it a game, checking items off your list. This will not only spice up your sex life but will be a way you and your spouse can become more connected in other ways as well. As you spend time together working on the list, your relationship will grow in every way.
Now Go Have Fun
We pray these tips will help you to grow the sex life you and your spouse both desire in your marriage. Sex is a good gift from God that is specifically for marriage. Don’t waste the gift you have been given! Now go and have a great and wild time with your spouse.
You can do this!
We are praying for you!