Hello Friends,
Here at ABA, we love marriage, but as you probably know Alex and I love adventure. We love to travel. We want to see all the places and do all the things. (Ahem, and eat all the food) Every so often we want to bring a fun blog you’re way, something light-hearted but that can also help you in a practical way. A few months ago we gave you some fun date ideas. Since we just got back from an amazing vacation we thought this would be a great time to share some travel tips. We hope this is not only helpful to you in your travels, but also for your marriage. Because let’s be real, vacations can bring stress to a relationship if they are not handled correctly. So let’s go!
Travel Tips from the Payne’s
Research the Area
The first step on any adventure is picking your destination. Once you have done that the real work (and fun) begins. It is time to research the area to see what it has to offer. Alex is fantastic at this. We just got back from sending two weeks in Yellowstone and cruising down the 101 from Seattle to San Fransico. We got to see everything from geysers to glass beaches. To say we packed a lot into a little amount of time would be an understatement. One reason we were able to do so much was because Alex had researched the area and knew where to find the things we wanted to see.
He knew where the geysers were we definitely wanted to see and how to get to them and he knew where the best places to see animals were. When we started down the coast he knew the main places we wanted to hit and made sure our route would lead to them. Although we did not get to hit every single location we hit the vast majority of them simply because Alex took the time before we left to research the area.
Set Non-Negotiables
Like I said above, we are not always able to hit every single thing we want to see and do, because of that, Alex and I have learned to set non-negotiables. These are things that take priority. They have to happen. On this particular trip, these were some of our non-negotiables- Alex seeing “Morning Glory” a well know geyser at Yellowstone, and us going to a Mariners game in Seattle. For me it was seeing all the animals I could (especially a grizzly bear preferably with cubs), and visiting the Redwood Forrest.
By setting non-negotiables, you guarantee that the important things happen. The stuff that doesn’t mean as much can still happen but it won’t take the place of the things you really want to do. Now disclaimer- you have to fully and clearly communicate the non-negotiables- don’t just assume your spouse knows.
Do something JUST BECAUSE
A plan is great, but don’t forget to do something just because you want to. Maybe a random thought pops in your head while you are on vacation. Go for it. Sometimes the best memories come from a random thought or coming up on something you did not know was there.
On this last trip, we had a few “JUST BECAUSE” moments. Alex and I drove an hour out of our way so we could go to Walla Walla Washington. There was nothing special there but it is mentioned on Looney Tunes a lot so we wanted to say we went. We also got to explore a tidal pool simply because we saw some divers and Josh (a friend we were traveling with) went up and talked to them about their dive. Neither of these things was planned but it added adventure to our trip.
Take Some Friends with You
Alex and I have vacationed alone and we have vacationed with friends! We enjoy both and encourage you to do both as well. Vacationing alone can bring you closer together as a couple. You experience things that only the two of you can share and that is a beautiful thing. However, it is also beneficial to experience new places and things with friends as well. It doubles the fun!
Disclaimer here- be very selective about who you travel with. It can be the difference between a beautiful adventure or a complete disaster.
Be Prepared for Detours
Just like in life, sometimes you have to take a detour on vacations. We cannot always anticipate everything that can knock us off course. During those moments of detours, we need to either prepared or have the tools to help us manage the detour. Things happen and sometimes you have to reevaluate and maybe do something different.
On this particular trip, there was a certain waterfall I wanted to hike to. However, the trail to it was closed and could not be accessed on foot. We did not know that until we got to the trail and had walked a big part of it. We had to get a different plan if I wanted to be able to see it.
In this particular case, there was a place you could drive to and see it from a distance. As you can see the view definitely did not disappoint so sometimes detours are not bad at all. Sometimes you see amazing things you would have missed altogether had the detour not happened.
Invite the Father Along
Before we leave on a trip we always pray the same prayer.
“Abba, meet us there. Show us wild and beautiful things and speak to us in ways that only we will understand.”
It’s such a short little prayer but we have experienced SO MUCH because of it. When you invite God into anything He comes and brings awesome things with Him. Alex and I never come back the same as when we left. God has always shown us or taught us something that we can use not only for us but for others as well.
The same can happen for you. A vacation is a time to get away from the 9-5 rhythm, to relax and recharge. It is not a time to get away from God. You may not physically go to a church while on vacation. BUT if you ask Him to, God will come with you and speak to you in wild ways. All you have to do is ask and then- watch and listen.
On this trip, we met God in so many ways. But one very cool experience was at the Church of Transfiguration. Someone had told us about a church where you could go and see a beautiful view of the Teton Mountains. We got to have a sweet little moment of worship right in the middle of our vacation.
What Works for Travel Works for Marriage
These are just a few things Alex and I do to ensure that we will have a great vacation. The great news is- what works for travel works for marriage. You can take these travel tips, apply them to your relationship, and in time your marriage can be the most beautiful adventure you have ever been on.
You can do this!
We are praying for you!
For ways to travel well on your marriage adventure, check out our book. “A Beautiful Adventure Marriage: A Guide for the Marriage God Created for You.”