Hello Friends
Christmas 2020 is upon us! Although this time of year can be filled with family gatherings and joy, it can also be filled with chaos and stress. Typically the cause of our stresses are outside sources, such as planning events and buy gifts, unfortunately, our marriage is what fills the effects of it. We lash out at the ones closest to us when we are under a lot of stress so guess who catches the bulk of it… our spouses.
Let’s Get to the Point…
We are keeping it really simple this week because I know everyone is busy, you have places to be and gifts to buy! 2020 has been a year so let’s be intentional about ending it well. Below are 4 tips that can help you experience a peaceful Christmas.
4 Tips for Christmas Peace in Your Marriage
- Establish a Budget
Money is one of the leading causes of conflicts in a marriage. This time of year it is extremely easy to overspend and with this comes unnecessary stress. By sitting down and creating a budget (and then sticking with it) you will find you can enjoy spending this money because it was agreed upon upfront. There will be not surprised when you go by your budget.
This takes a little more work upfront but the benefits to your marriage are priceless. You can enjoy the season, buy gifts for the ones you love, and have peace in your marriage.
- Have a Signal
Typically this time of year comes with countless events and family gatherings we need to go to and be a part of. You may have to go to these events but you don’t have to be the last ones to leave. (especially if it causes stress.) Create a signal with your spouse that communicates, “It’s time to go.” in a subtle way.
It can be a gesture or a certain word, but once the signal has been given honor it. For Alex and me, it is a simple touch. Once that touch happens we say our goodbyes to our host and head out.
Disclaimer- only use the signal when necessary, but when it is used honor it. This isn’t a tool to use only when your spouse has an event you do not want to go to. This is an “I’m getting overwhelmed” signal. If you use this signal all the time it will get harder and harder to honor it.
- Remember Your Spouse
In the hustle and bustle, we can forget about the most important person in our lives. They may get put on the back burner as we are out trying to get every accomplished that needs to be accomplished.
Find a way to acknowledge your spouse this season. There are several ways you can do that.
- Get them a gift they have been wanting
- Kiss them under the mistletoe
- Go on a special Christmas date
- Fix their favorite meal or treat
You and your spouse may not do Christmas gifts, to each couple their own, but find a way either big or small to acknowledge your spouse this Christmas.
- Overcommunicate
The most important way to have a peaceful marriage during the holiday season is to overcommunicate with your spouse. You both need to be on the same page if peace is going to be present in your marriage. It is important that both people know the schedule and expectations that way both people can accomplish what needs to be accomplished. So…
- Use ALL of your words…
- Get a calendar and put it so everyone can see it…
- Have touch points daily…
- A touchpoint is a time where you come together and basically make sure you are on the same page. For example- when Alex calls me on his way to work in the morning one of us usually asks “Do we have plans tonight after work?” or “Is there anything on the calendar for today?”
Everyone’s day is usually busy but especially during this time of year. It is critical that you and your spouse overcommunicate during this time about plans and expectations.
Have a Merry Christmas!
For to us a Child shall be born, to us a Son shall be given; and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. There shall be no end to the increase of His government and of peace, [He shall rule] on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness from that time forward and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this. Isaiah 9:6-7
Well… there you have it. Five tips we pray help you have a peaceful Christmas with your spouse!
Above all else please remember- this is the time of year we get to celebrate our Savior! How He came down to earth for one reason only, so we could be saved and spend eternity with Him. Gifts are nice, family gatherings are fun, but let’s not forget the real source of our joy and peace!
It is all about Jesus and His indescribable love and sacrifice for us! Now that is something to celebrate!
Merry Christmas friends!
We are praying for you!
For more ways to have peace in your marriage read our blog, “5 Ways to Embrace Peace During Uncertainty” by clicking here.