Hello Friends,
Have you ever had someone walk up to you and speak words that turned your entire day around? Complimentary words that made you feel good. Encouraging words that gave you the confidence to step out of your comfort zone. Loving words that said you are not alone and reminded you how loved you are. I know I have experienced that!
Words are powerful and when we use them correctly they can be beneficial to everyone we come in contact with. This is especially true when it comes to our spouses. We have been given the incredible responsibility to be the number one person to speak life into our spouse.
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak Matthew 12:36
Our words carry so much weight in our marriage. We have the ability to build our spouse up to their full potential and we also have the ability to tear them down to the point they cannot pick themselves back up.
Our words carry more weight to our spouses than other people’s words and we need to remember that. We cannot rely on others to build our husband or wife up. Let’s be the number one person in their lives. Let’s be the ones cheering them on and encouraging them with life-giving words.
Our words hold great power and with that power comes great responsibility. According to the word the Lord will hold us accountable for our words and that includes the words we speak to our spouses.
So how can we change? How do we begin to speak life into our spouse and our marriage?
Below are three words that can transform your marriage if you will apply them.
3 Words to Transform Your Marriage
A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples on a silver tray. Proverbs 25:11
There are three simple words that when applied cannot only transform your marriage but your life in general. Those three words are attention, affirmation, and appreciation. Let’s break them down.
Attention
Each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear]. Ephesians 5:33
Our spouse deserves our undivided attention. We should set aside time every day to simply be in their presence, enjoy their company, and listen to them. The goal here is to give them the correct kind of attention. All attention is not created equal, so be sure to make this time valuable.
How do we make this time valuable… our words. Let’s look at the Bible verses above to see how to speak to our spouses.
Husbands are to love their wives with an attitude of loving-kindness. So guys, be kind. Don’t rush the time or do it begrudgingly. Make eye contact and really listen when she speaks to you.
Wives, be respectful to your husband. Don’t talk over him or not listen to him. This isn’t time for you to vent and complain about things. Treat him and this time with delight, like it is the best part of your day. (I hope that it is.)
I know we have a lot we all have to do but let’s get our priorities straight here. You will never regret the time spent with family, especially if it is time spend speaking life-giving words to your spouse.
Affirmation
Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Affirmation is so very important in marriage. I told you earlier that your words carry more weight with your spouse than anyone else’s. The world may think your spouse is great and speak that to them but if you do not affirm it, they will not believe it.
Affirm means to make firm. According to John Maxwell and Les Parrott’s book, 25 Ways to Win with People ~ “When you compliment something you reinforce it and make it more consistent.”
When you choose to affirm your spouse you will guarantee that what you are complimenting will continue to happen on a more regular basis.
Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.
George M. Adams
Everyone enjoys a compliment. When we choose to speak good into our spouse’s we will get good in return- plus some. You can never give your spouse too much affirmation.
Appreciation
And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful. Colossians 3:15
The last one is a no-brainer but it is something that we tend to forget in marriage. We will thank our waitress for bringing us a drink. We will thank the person who holds a door open for us or processes our transaction at a store, but we forget to thank our spouse for the things they do day in and day out.
It’s easy to take it for granted. I have been there. We get used to it and we forget that those little things add up. We forget those things they do make our day easier. So let’s look for things that we can thank our spouse for.
Two little words can make whatever it is they are doing, whether big or small, so worthwhile.
Two words…Thank You… can change your marriage for the better.
A Marriage Challenge for You
The 30 Second Rule
The 30-second rule is found in 25 Ways to Win People, and it is an easy way to be intentional about applying the 3 words to your marriage. Here is how you use the 30-second rule- within the first thirty seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.
You can use any of the three words we talked about in this blog.
Give them your attention first thing in the morning or right when you get home from work.
What are they good at? Affirm them.
Say thank you!
Who is up for the challenge to transform your marriage?
You can do this!
We are praying for you!
To check out John Maxwell and Les Parrott’s book, 25 Ways to Win with People click here.
Words are so important in our marriages, for more ways to use your words correctly check out our blog, “The Great Marriage Commission” by clicking here.